Well it is time for that good ol’ monthly update I guess.

First off I’m not in Hell. Haven’t been for a few weeks. I’m on the other side of the world in place that is actually more pretentious than Hell. Yeah. Malibu.

I’m here to head up our emergency assessment units after the California wildfires. There are some perks to the assignment but none of them really even begin to balance out the horrors I’m seeing everyday. It’s a tough time and I still have a few more weeks to go.

To bring a bit of levity to our situation the group (there are 10 of us all sharing this huge house) we have all reverted back to our college days. There is the all night partying, with the drinking and the loud music and me coming out of my bedroom in the morning to stumble over guys passed out on the floor in the living room next to half empty pizza boxes. I feel like I’m living in a frat house… but I’m finding that after the week I’ve had it isn’t really all that bad. We find ways to cope.

My ways have varied slightly (although I have, admittedly, done a good bit of my own drinking). I’ve gone shopping. Lots of shopping. I managed to check off another of the “1001 things Sabine must do before she dies” when I purchased a pair shoes that cost me more than what I pay in rent. Before I leave I plan to take full advantage of my temporary home and venture down into the L.A. garment district. My fabric stash has fallen under 200 yards – this must be remedied.

Other important news would be that a few months ago as I was preparing to book my annual trip to Mexico for Thanksgiving; I got a call from Jeff. He informed me that instead of visiting him this year that he was coming to me. After some freaking out, I started to get excited. Then word came down that I would be in California for Thanksgiving. It took a bit of a group effort, but plans were rearranged and now I’m here and Jeff is with me. We even have plans to take us away from here for the holiday. My assistant was able to score us a reservation at a resort outside of Sonoma for Thanksgiving. Then we are going to head North to do some exploring before heading back here next week.

Then I should be heading back home sometime in the 2^nd week of December for some well deserved alone time.

Oh and before I left I finally, after a 6 month hiatus, got my ass into my car and went to an event. Of course that event was in Texas and I decided on Tuesday that I was going, and then proceeded to frantically run around my house looking for pieces of my kit, that I hadn’t seen since Gulf, until I left Thursday night. But it was totally worth it. I was able to surprise a lot of people that I love (because on that of short of notice I decided not to tell anyone that I was going) and have some good girl time with Sarah. I actually enjoyed myself at an event for the first time in probably close to 2 years. I was beginning to wonder if I was actually ever going to be able to enjoy myself at an event again. But I did, even more I’m actually looking forward to being able to do it again. So who knows you people may actually see me sometime before March… maybe.

The actual reason why I decided to jump on board with this little project is because the other day, I noticed that in Sarah’s post about her new hair routine that CinnKitty asked about whether there were other options and if she could take baby steps towards “alternative” hair care. And the resounding answer is “YES!!!”

See, Sarah got lucky and it seems that the first method she tried is going to work out really well for her, but there are plenty of other options out there. In an effort to find the perfect method for me and my hair (henceforth referred to as the holy grail… Christ I’m even going to use the crazy bus speak as well, aren’t I??) I’ve tried just about all of them and still haven’t found which one is the absolutely perfect one for me, my hair, my lifestyle, and my environment (ok well maybe I have, but I’m only a week in so things could still feasibly go down hill from here.) So today for those of you interested I’ll list some of the various options and throw in some hair education (all of which you will be tested on before you are assigned a seat on the batshitcrazy bus) as well. Ready?

Things you are trying avoid –

First, harsh detergents and chemicals in shampoo. Mainly? Sulfates. The 2 most common are SLS (sodium laurel sulfate) and SLES (sodium laureth sulfate), SLS had an original intended purpose as a grease solvent, but nowadays makes its living cleaning various parts of our bodies. Honestly our bodies aren’t that dirty, and if they are we are actually doing it to ourselves. Sulfates are harsh detergents. They will get out anything you manage to put in your hair – dirt, grime, styling products, and sweat. They will also strip your hair of all its natural oils leaving your hair feeling not so wonderful and not so manageable. So you condition, right? And you condition with a product packed with silicone.

Remember those Pantene commercials with the little gold bubbles that would swim around the hair strands and bind to hair and then magically repair the hair strand? Yeah. Silicone. And the hair isn’t repaired. It’s been magically caulked, and that caulking will build up, and will need to be removed, and the best way to remove a silicone is with a harsh sulfate detergent. So you begin to feed a fairly vicious cycle so the second item on the list of things to avoid? Silicone in conditioner and styling products.

You have learned to read the labels of what you eat now learn to read the labels on your beauty products

So now you know what to avoid…
Your most common options for alternative hair care are –

Pseudo Natural –
These are incredibly similar to the same drug store hair products you will find anywhere except they lack the items you are trying to avoid. Pseudo Natural allows you to break that cycle but still gives you that normal feeling of having your shampoo and conditioner. They still have some sort of cleaning agent in the shampoos but typically are considered to be much healthier for you hair and instead of silicone they use plant derived butters and oils in the conditioners.

As with all of these options there is an adjustment period, but this is by far the easiest transition.

While not the method I’m currently using, this method works great with my hair. I use the Giovanni hair line. They make excellent products and my hair really responds well to them. Best of all most major health food stores and organic grocers that offer “bulk bin” shopping will offer Pseudo Natural shampoo and conditioners on the bulk bin aisle to you can bring your own bottles from home and just refill them. Not only do you get the discount of not having to pay new for packaging but you save the earth the stress of having even more plastic out in circulation.

All Natural –
All Natural is where you start to really truly venture into “alternative” – these are the products that are 100% percent derived from natural resources. You can still have your traditional shampoo/conditioner method, but once you open the product you are going to notice a huge difference in what you are working with. Mainly the shampoo, being void of all detergent and cleaning agents, won’t lather – which means that you have to rely on the essential oils in the product and your own physical scrubbing of your scalp to clean your scalp. Also your conditioner won’t resemble normal conditioner in its texture – You won’t see your typical cream based conditioner inside the bottle. Instead the texture will be a bit milky or even possibly oil based.

The adjustment period here may even take longer because not only are you working with the differences in the products but also these products are where you have to start really paying attention to what your hair wants/needs and developing a technique. How long do you need to scrub your scalp? How long do you need to rinse? Does all you hair need washing/conditioning or just your scalp/length? Everybody’s hair is different so everyone’s technique is different.

If you live in a major city you should be able to find All Natural hair products, but it may take some searching almost all your popular Natural brands are mostly Pseudo Naturals and they may only offer one option for All Natural. Read your labels and the internet is your friend.

Water only –
Now this was a fun one to try. This is your “extreme measure” – water only. It actually does work and I know a woman in Ansteorra/Texas with the most beautiful hair that I have ever seen in my life. I covet her hair. Her secret? For the last 15 or so years, she washes her hair once a week with lukewarm water only, and I promise you, her hair is absolutely gorgeous.

As you can imagine the transition can take up to a few months since not only are you weaning yourself off all products, but you actually have to train your scalp to produce less oil. And there is a lot of scrubbing involved. That is ultimately why this process doesn’t work for me. My hair is just too delicate to stand up the vigorous scrubbing needed to accomplish cleaning your hair with nothing but water.

If you can do this and make it work for you I envy you, and want your hair.

This is probably as good of a place as any to mention that half the fun of alternative hair care is the trial and error part. There will be hair disasters. Your friends will laugh at you. But one morning you will also realize the joys of making an all natural hair mask in your blender that makes your hair shine like it did back when you where in a kid, and it will all be worth it. Onwards…

Water with baking soda –
This is Sarah’s method. The only method on this list I haven’t tried. Again my hair is far too delicate for it. The one time I tried to clarify my hair with baking soda it took weeks before my hair forgave me, and I’m fairly certain that if brought it into the shower again all my hair would jump off my head and hide under the sink, but I know tons of people who swear by this method and you have Sarah as even more proof.

Shampoo Bars –
Yeah.Soap.In.Your.Hair. I love it. My hair loves it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner. As I said earlier there is still a chance that after some of the newness of the product wears off the results won’t be so fantabulous, but right now shampoo bars are the reason why the sun came up this morning. I love them so much I’m actually comfortable enough to actually say “LOOK at my HAIR!!”

That? Is my hair one week into nothing but soap (Herb Garden) and water - no styling products - no conditioner - nothing. And? That is 2nd day hair. Yeah, I’ve slept on that… twice.

100% all natural! – They last forever! – Minimal packaging! – Cheap! – Easy! - Travel Friendly!

Some people need a vinegar rinse like Sarah has been doing with the baking soda, some people need to use conditioner, but not me – I haven’t needed either. Really, I can’t say enough good things about them. They rock. I love them, and I hope I still love them when I come back from vacation.

If you are interested (that might even be a dare), this is where I buy mine from - http://chagrinvalleysoapandcraft.com/

Read the info on the site thoroughly because she provides a lot of great info regarding hair types and troubleshooting any problems you may have with them. But the samples are cheap and if they don’t work out for you; you still have some great soap!

….Second Round….

She really tested me right out of the gate, huh? But it actually proves the point fairly well. While her irrigation system rocks there is no feasible way that I can model anything like that to water my container garden on my balcony of my Condo here in Hell… but I wasn’t going to give up on my first challenge that easily. I sat here and I thought to myself that there has to be something I have done that mirrors her efforts…

So I thought.

And I thought.

Water.

Flowing.

Bill Saver.

Watering.

Water.

Oh.

Wait that’s easy.

(Read on …)

There is a boy in my bed…

Not that that is an all together bad thing, I’ve actually quite enjoyed his company and have had no desire to send him to the couch… or back to his own bed, but reality is? It’s odd.

I mean first he is sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. I didn’t even know I had a right side of the bed until I wasn’t sleeping on it. I should be asleep right now, instead of blogging… and I would be asleep if he wasn’t sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. I’m letting it slide tonight since he managed to gank his shoulder today, but tomorrow during breakfast there will be some rules laid out.

Then second it has been a long time since someone shared my bed with me. In fact it has been well over a year and half and if we are actually going to get into particulars the last guy is the same guy currently not snoring (thank you god) on my side of the bed (damn bastard). But nevertheless a girl grows used to having her bed all to herself. At least we sleep well together (when he isn’t sleeping on my side of the bed), and never once has he questioned my fanatical need to change out my bed linens every day. He even changed out everything himself after he woke up this morning (since I had long since left for work).

And he’s put up with all the funny foods (damn hippy), the cluttered bathrooms (damn product junkie), the general lack of caffeine in the house (damn purist), and the fact that I won’t date him (damn commitment-phobe) heroically well. Not to mention last night when I went and had a complete and total mental breakdown over a children’s book he didn’t look for an excuse to make a quick exit, and frankly I would not have blamed him. (note to self: add that to things that need to be blogged about)

So there you go – boy in my bed for the last 4 nights (with 1 or 2 more to go) and no one has died. That’s my weekend.

Before I move on to that laundry list of things I need to blog about, I’ve decided to jump ahead and quickly cover this weekend. Well not so much cover it as send out a few thank you notes. You see this weekend had the all the makings of drama filled angsty disaster and I wasn’t exactly being the most tolerant flower in the garden. I was mad. I was mad, confused, and angry. I wanted to throw things. I wanted to kick shins. It wasn’t very pretty. But as luck would have it, I’m surrounded by some great men in my life. Men that balled up, took the brunt of my attack (even though it was never meant to be directed at them), and showed me that they loved me in their own little individual ways. By the end of weekend I wasn’t mad anymore – I was resolved. And I no longer believed that all little boys should be lying dead in ditches, which was a huge improvement over Tuesday night.

Dear Mike,

I’m sorry. You got the worst of it, didn’t you? But you took it and you understood and you offered… well you offered just about everything, didn’t you? From pedicures to a bottle of bourbon even going so far to offer to hire a hit man. You took me out and showed me a good time and more than made up for what you knew I was missing out on. By the time I left on Friday morning, I was at least ready to be seen in public without that burning desire to drive the heel of my shoe into someone’s eye.

Not to mention you are now officially classified as one of Sabine’s True Friends. (For the general audience – this is a classification that you can only be awarded after you have fulfilled the duty of taking Sabine to the ER, and Mike has been waiting for years now to have a chance.)

Thanks, hun
Sabine

______

Dear Dirk,

I’m going to miss you when you are gone. Texas just won’t be the same without you. Thanks for taking time out of your busy packing schedule and driving out to see Sarah and I. But even more than that thanks for bring the big protective bear I can always count on. Just remember to set aside an emergency air fund, because you are my #12 and one day the guys aren’t going to be able to talk me out of making you make good on that promise.

Love.You.Mean.It.
Sabine, your #2… (wait a minute – now that you are moving to Canada, does that mean I’m getting demoted to #3?)

______

Dear Gavin,

I would say that now more than ever my point has been proven. I get pissy, you show up, we whisper and giggle in the dark while pissing off all of our friends, and suddenly the world doesn’t suck so much. I’ve decided it is your SuperChicken power (I can’t believe you bought the hat, btw – such a sheep.). I love you… even if you did the hog the bed… steal my pillow… and snore in my ear. Thanks for being you and I can’t wait for August.

Love,
Sabine

______

Dear Brandr,

Well don’t you have a way at making a girl feel loved? You kept me company Saturday Night after my Ansteorran friends left for home. You flirted and you flattered, and you made me feel all girly inside. I made you my scapegoat and you just laughed and went along with it. Then you taught me the hand signal for “huge squid”, and I don’t know how I have managed to live my life up to this point without that knowledge.

You rock, my friend.
Sabine

And at last but not least –

Dear Heebie,

While hot heads were abounding this weekend you stayed all calm and cool. You manned up and spoke to me honestly about some troubles and we worked thru it. You were there every time I needed something during the vigil. You banished the alien hiding under my shoulder blade. You played a nice rousing game “Brandr did it!” (officially the “it” game of summer) with me and you kept yourself firmly planted between me and the oogey drunk guy. All that combined makes you a fairly rockin’ guy.

But then you found the spot… and that makes you my new favorite.

Love you looooonglong time,
Sabine

So there you have it – my recap. Up next? How I landed my ass in Chicago on a Friday morning.

So in recent months I have become more and more reliant on the blog-o-sphere for a variety of decision making processes. If I’m looking for recipes, I know no longer check out allrecipes.com or recipezaar.com… I go blog stalking. Same for looking for reviews on music, hotels, books, or restaurants. And it is an absolute necessity when in search of a new beauty product. Because of this process I have found quite a few gems and items I never knew I couldn’t live without.

Because let’s face it – I’m THAT girl. THAT girl is never the girl I aspired to be. But being THAT girl does have some perks. My skin wouldn’t be as in nearly as good of condition as it is now (hell, I’m not even sure I would actually have skin with all of the sloughing that has taken place). My house wouldn’t smell nearly as good (and me too, for that matter). And I wouldn’t be nearly so entertained (and no one wants a Bored Sabine trudging around). Yes, of course, when I talk about being THAT girl, I talk about the fact that I’m a ConsumerWhore.

So as our little universe morphs yet again into its new generation the attitude has gravitated much toward the idea of pay it forward, and with that in mind I’ve decided to start adding reviews to the content here at Hell’s Condo. I do a great deal of reviewing over at the tech site… and in the forums, but I never really brought them here, but maybe it is time… or maybe I just need to feel a little less guilty when it comes to my consumer whoreness.

Now I’m not shopping for me – I’m shopping to save you from buyer’s remorse. (Like that? I liked that.)

To kick things off I’m going to start with the item that has literally saved my skin –

Boots Mediterranean Olive, Almond & Sage Wonderbalm

What they say:
This rich moisturizer with nourishing organic olive oil and almond is perfect for drier areas of the body as it delivers instant softness and smoothness. Its just so versatile, this miracle product can be used on knees, heels, cuticles and lips. The fragrant sage oil will take your mind away to luscious Mediterranean landscapes.

What I say:
This stuff is divine. I’ve used it as an intense moisturizer in conjunction with my Moisture Booties. As a cuticle balm. This is what saved my elbows after the abuse they suffered in Arizona. The scent is a great earthy natural scent. It dries clean with no sticky residue, but you can feel the effects long after it has dried, and at less than $10 it easily becomes one of the cheaper items I rub on my skin everyday. While the tiny jar will last you a surprisingly long time, I really wish they would sell it by the gallon.

The best news is that if you haven’t already noticed Boots (a long time UK beauty line) has finally made their products available here in the US. And they make them incredibly easy to locate – both Target and CVS stores now carry the full Boots line.

Rating: 5 out 5 stars

Link: Boots.com

_{(it helps if you read this out loud to yourself using the strongest Texas twang you can muster… it really does lend the proper character and mood of the words)}

Well another Gulf Wars come and gone. And if you are just now showing up to catch Sabine’s Highlight Reel, then you have missed out and I’m not even certain that I could catch you up.

It wasn’t a great War. It wasn’t a shitty War, although I’ve been informed that I have more than enough right to refer to it as such. Luckily entirely too many people love me entirely too much. And I’m not sure why cause I sure as hell don’t deserve it.

But I think I’m going to end up chalking this War up as an odd one. Maybe in few weeks when things settle and my laundry is finally all washed; maybe then I can move it to the “good” column… but for now? We shall stick with odd.

Every year, I’ve offered a recap. This year it is just too much to take in. There were a lot of highs and a lot of lows… a lot of angry and mean but also a lot of happy and fun. Some disappointments but some surprises. Honestly looking back everything balanced itself out fairly damn well and really turned out for the best all the way around. (Don’t you hate it when it does that?)

But Hell, it took Liam 30 minutes with a flowchart and 5 PowerPoint slides just to comprehend 9 hours of my life at War. So starting with Friday morning and the text message that went something like “Just now getting on the road (2 hours late)… had to clean the blood off the floor… and pick the glass shards out of my foot… and cry… I cried a lot.” would just be kinda ludicrous.

So I’m taking the wussy way out this year. All of you know the drill, you pick the people, you give a comment, it’s all anonymous, and designed to make everyone paranoid. But? Just to let some of you off the hook there are only 25 people on this list and when you take into account the 3600+ people onsite you can extrapolate that I had to leave one or 2 of you out. Hell, I can think of more than handful right off the top of my head that should be on here but aren’t.

So we shall now commence with the giving of Sabine’s War Recap (You are still using that Texas accent, right?) –

(Read on …)

An invitation to all people who don’t suck…

_{FYI – To answer emails… there is absolutely no need to bring anything to contribute, but if you really feel like you must you can always bring a bottle of champagne to add to the punch bowl… cause I have feeling we might go thru a good bit of it.}

If you have the chance today, take a stroll over to my other domain… specifically -

www.ameline.purpleermine.com

Baroness Ameline is one of my favorite people. She’s the Baroness of Elfsea in Ansteorra, and I still to this day consider her to be my Baroness. A few weeks ago the Crown of Ansteorra announced Their intention to elevate her to the Order of the Laurel, and asked that she sit vigil this weekend. Ameline knows that many people won’t be able to attend the event on such short notice so she came to me for a solution. I have created for her a “virtual vigil” of sorts that hopefully will be something she can treasure for some time to come.

So please stop by say “Hi!” or “Congratulations!” and share with her any words of wisdom you may have on the path she begins tomorrow.

Hey guys if you have any thoughts or energy to spare please do so for a friend of mine. He is going thru a very tough custody battle over a child he had with his ex.  Our court system can be incredibly biased when it comes to the rights of a mother, even if the best interest of the child lies elsewhere.  That is much the case here – mediocre mother vs. excellent father.  And it is a shame that he has to go to such great lengths to prove he is the best caretaker, so if you can light a candle for him, please?

Ready for another cover?

I dig this. It actually took me over half the song to realize exactly that this was a cover. Not only brilliance, bloody bloody brilliance. Hand over fist better than the original. What? We all know I have a thing for guys standing on stage with nothing more than a guitar…

My future Pelican is getting Pelicanized (about damn time!!!)

Now the only thing left to do is figure out how to make him think that this protege idea was all his to begin with… and plan him the most fan-damn-tabulous party I can think of.

Anybody got a disco ball I can borrow?

So what do you talk about when the thing that is first and foremost in your mind is something you can’t talk about? And the second thing is an uber secret evil plan with an emphasis on the secret part?

…

The Blackberry Green Tea Frappuccino doesn’t suck near as much as I expected it to. I may even dig it a bit… well as much as I can dig a Starbuck’s beverage that has no coffee in it.

…

Yeah, I got nuthin’.

…

Oh! Sarah asked for songs! Songs I can do. In fact a while back I ran across a song that really spoke to me and it reminds me of Sarah a bit, as well. Cause while the changes we are going thru aren’t the same we are both going thru a changing stage whether we like it or not…
So here you go, Sarah. Love you.

“In Your Own Way” by Caleb Kane

And take a minute to reflect in your own way
Take your time and connect in your own way
I know it’s good to be alone some days
But you got a long face in your own way, baby
I know you got a big heart in your own way
Independent and smart in your own way
And even though you get along somehow
You’re missing out now in your own way, baby

And since you asked so nicely I’ll even let you borrow my 2 personal anthems.

“One Hit Wonder” by Everclear

and

“Walk the Walk” by Poe

To defunk I rely a lot (possibly more than healthy) on music. So today I set out with intent on creating the most goddamn happy playlist I could. It kinda rocked… you should listen to the whole thing.

But I chose one band out of the fray to pass on to you tonight. They happen to be one of my current favorite bands with the mostest.

Panic! At the Disco is just rocking my world lately. More than Faktion (and damn I love me my Faktion), more than Hinder (I just want them for the sex.), and yes even more than She Wants Revenge (although I hear if I hear them live, I’ll want them for the sex as well.)

But for happy? For happy, we have Panic! (you know you want to dance… hell even I want to dance)

“I Constantly Thank God For Esteban”

Wasn’t that fun?

And now for our next trick … the snazzy song guaranteed to have you yelling out the one inappropriately perfect line in the middle of Super Target’s frozen food aisle. Oh yes, you will. And when you do? I’ll know. And I’ll laugh!

“I Write Sins Not Tragedies”

_{(and note to self - if you are going to scream out about closing a goddamn damn door… probably not best to do it in your office… with the door open… with your assistant, who is already petrified of you, sitting just outside. Just fair warning - you’ll send that girl into tears.)}

Aaron won!!!!

Looks like I’ll see everyone at Coronation.