So here you go - me… unaltered.

And now I’m going back to sleep.

Don’t know how you ladies deal…

But can somone please explain to my uterus that it lost it right to
cause me cramps when it up and quit working on me 3 years ago.
Seriously, there has to be some law about not being able to cause
cramps and hot flashes concurrently. How much torture can one girl
take?

So yes until one of you can top my insomniac crampy hot flashing
allergy congested self I’m keeping the opity me stick close by (close
but lesser known cousin of drama magnet and “why don’t you try and stop
me” brick).

At least my job is so completly in the shitter thay I don’t think
anyone will notice me stayoing in bed and hiding under the covers.
Well no one but my assist but it would really hard for him to not
notice seeing as how he is currently living in my spare bedroom
(longlong story) and also he currenty has nothing better to do as my
highly overpaid asst other bringing me tea and hot water bottles.

Remind that in my next reincarnation that while yes I am ging to strive
to be less important than I am now I still need to be important enough
to employ a highly overpaid gay male asst.  Life just isn’t the same
without one. Really everyone needs one. Although unless absolutely
nesscary I would refrain from having him live in your spare room.
There is a professional line there and we crossed it when I aaw him
making my breakfast in his boxers.

Dying now.
Send advil.
And soup.
And tissues.

Pity me.

Scratch all that.  Conference call was a big circle jerk filled with people patting everyone on the back for how great they are handling all this.  Oh and lies. Lots of lying.  So I’m still waiting.  Maybe I could start my own Ebay business…

I have been told unofficially that I am part of the Phase 2 layoffs and that Phase 2 starts on or around Aug 25th (which was Aug 1st… and then Aug 18th).  And that depending on various things I could be asked to stay and work 30 to 90 days and in some cases until the end of the year. Of course when they say “asked to stay” they actually mean “do whatever we want or you won’t get your package.”

FunTimesAllAround.

I may have found a loophole that will get me out of this place sooner rather later but in an effort to not rock the boat it will be the card I play when nothing else is going the right way.

I just want to know. And then I just want to get out of here.

Currently seeking additional persons of interest available to continuously email with Sarah and I during business hours … we need more to help balancing out the crazy that ensues when I don’t have work to occupy my brain.

He tells me that he isn’t 100% certain but that he is 95% certain that I’m going to get laid off sometime in the coming months… but he doesn’t have any details. Thanks.

I can’t really tell you what I was feeling because I’m incredibly conflicted.  Yeah I’m going to have to find a new job… and it won’t pay anything close to what I’m making now.  But I’ll get a year’s severance pay out of the deal and I know I don’t want to ever have to work this hard again. YAY ! finally the chance to get the hell out of this cesspool, but I have no clue where I want to go. Honestly the biggest downer?  The thing that has me the most upset?  I’m going to have to start paying for my own gas.  I don’t even care that I’m going to have to buy a car, it is the gas that stresses me out.

July 4th weekend I spent at Sarah’s house.  Doing all the things we do on July 4th.  You know grilling meat. Fireworks.  Donut Sundaes. Weeds. Gaming.  Saturday morning Heebie, FLower, and I are all curled up in Sarah’s bed geeking out with Heroes V (which I so totally just crushed the Vampire Lord, btw) with everyone assuming we are up to something kinky behind that closed door.  When my phone rings, the voicemail was from my boss wanting me to call him at home as soon as possible because he needed my current salary and what my salary was 2 years ago.  Later that day as I’m following all the other girls to dinner, I call him back.

I am being laid off. I will get my full year of severance pay ( + health benefits) but it will be based off my salary from 2 years ago (when the deal was made) and it won’t include any type of commission or bonuses (which is fairly large part of my salary) a little sucky but still it is free money.

What is sketchy is the dates. it could happen as early as August 1st.  I’m supposed to get 30 days notice which I may or may not be required to work. So I was left scrambling for a plan.  (Well not immediately.  My priority that night was trying to remember how many shots of tequila I had had because Heebie lost count after 10.)  But Monday driving home the thoughts kicked into full gear. 

Going off of my assumptions and water cooler gossip,  I started repacking this weekend. (You can’t believe how utterly and completely OVERJOYED I am to be packing AGAIN.) This week starts with the car shopping. So that when I get my walking papers on the 1st, I’m all set. I seriously doubt they will want me to stick around those 30 days because I haven’t actually worked in 2 months and why continue to make me sit in my office watching past seasons of Nip/Tuck?

By August 2nd, I would like to be in my shiny new car getting the hell out of here.  My plan is to drive and see friends.  A few days with Mike.  With Heebie and Bridget. Sarah and James.  Maybe head to Little Rock.  Maybe to Austin.  Definitely Dallas at some point. Ending the tour, of course, at Gothic.  Before driving my now incredibly dusty new car back to Dallas to drop it off at my parents new home (because they are retiring to Flower Mound on August 1st) and getting on a plane to Mexico.  From there Jeff and I are going to take some time and a long needed vacation.  Our current plan is to burn about 6 weeks in Thailand and Vietnam… and maybe Japan. Then he will go back to Mexico and I will come back here … rent a truck and hire some guys to throw all my shit in it.  I will then drive that truck to Texas and hire some more guys to either unload it in a storage unit or one of the barns at the ranch. 

I will stay with Mom (sigh) while I job search (and probably be begging couch space from quite a few of you along the way).  I won’t be just limiting my search to DFW.  I’m going to include Austin and San Antonio.  Shreveport and New Orleans. Little Rock and Memphis. Denver, Portland, Seattle, North Carolina are all on the list of maybes as well, but based on some of the opportunities that are already presenting themselves my new job will probably be in Texas somewhere.  Then once I have the job, I’ll find a house, then Jeff will finally come stateside.  And we can get on with our lives and silly things like couch shopping and wedding plans… and becoming the type of adults who send Christmas Cards.

So long story short, after 3 longlong years Sabine is moving back to Texas (somewhere)…more than most likely permanently.

yeefuckin’haw.

We looked at a LOT of homes. We fell in love with one only to have it swept out from underneath us. Then we looked at about 35 other homes that met our criteria (progressively getting higher in price) before we found IT (at double the price of the first one we fell in love with).

It really is a great house. But the price? Scares the shit out of me. From the front yard it looks normal, I mean sure you have to go through so much security that you start to feel like you are guarded by secret service agents to get to it. But once you can actually stand in the front yard it appears to be a normal 3/2/2/2.

See?

Hell even from the front door you don’t see anything panic inducing…

Living Room

Kitchen

But as you work your way to the back of the house your heart starts to beat a little bit faster…

Yeah. That is an indoor pool. Why anyone would see the need for an indoor pool here of all places is beyond me. Oh well at least I won’t get sunburned when reading poolside.

Then if you walk through that wall of doors. You see what is making Jeff all hot and bothered.

The boat dock. The boat dock that is big enough to hold that 32′ monster sailboat of his. And what is a boat dock without water?

And that right there is the crux of TheIssue. ThePerfectHouse doesn’t sit on any of the rivers leading to the Gulf… or any of the canals leading to the Gulf. No. We had to fall in love with a house that actually sits ON the Gulf of Mexico.

And that is the view that is keeping me up at nights. That and the fact that my little company owned Civic and Jeff’s old beat up Jeep that is missing its doors and top are going to look so out of place in the driveway. I’m already feeling the pressure to buy a Mercedes so I can keep up with the Joneses and I don’t even move in till the end of the May.

Sarah and I managed to exceed even our wildest expectations with Girls’ Night Out. I never hit bottom. I never said “fuck this shit I want to go home.” I worked when I wanted to. Played when I didn’t. I was actually sorry to leave to site. I met new people. I bonded with old friends.

There you go. My War update.

Last week? I busted ass trying to find a new house. I had to bust ass because I really needed to have a few picked out by the time Jeff’s plane landed. Normally I would have been incredibly excited to see Jeff except this time I knew the only reason why he was here is so he could take me to the hospital. I had ThatThing removed yesterday. You know ThatThing, the one that looks strangely like a tumor. When I woke up they told me everything went really well, they also promised that they managed to remove ThatThing without removing my entire thumb. However I have yet to actually see (or for that matter feel) my thumb, so I think they may be lying to me.

I had planned on getting my haircut today as a pat on the back for being such a good girl while they cut off my thumb, but as it turns out I’m still having a bit of a problem staying upright for more than say… 5 minutes. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, we have appointments at 4 houses. All of which are stupidly expensive. All of which are still in Hell. Something isn’t right with this plan.

This Week? More with the housing/packing situation. Less with the dreaming about the random man from War while sleeping next to a warm fiancée. Yeah, those are my goals. Mighty lofty of me, huh?

Oh, and maybe finish my laundry. Maybe.