Yeahyeah - I’m still here. I head back to Florida today which I’m not sure if I’m looking forward to or not. I’m ready to go home, but really? I would much prefer for home to have some snow on the ground. Or at least be below 85 degrees…

Updates are brewing. I even have a few of them saved, but I kept getting myself on topics that I didn’t think I wanted to deal with on vacation, so maybe later in the week… or maybe not. Anyway since Sarah has a habit of posting a lyrics meme any day I plan to spend in a plane, I figured today I would beat her to it. Let her stew over these for awhile. Anyone else is welcome to play along as well. Maybe Him will come out of the woodwork… he plays well with lyrics.

There are 20 of them. Varied but really fairly easy. I let the iPod choose - the first 20 that played are the 20 you got. Only one is a trick question. Although reading over them I think my iPod might be trying to tell me something…

Here Goes - (Remember: be good and no googling)

I got a heart full of pain; head full of stress
handful of anger, held in my chest
uphill struggle blood sweat and tears
nothing to gain everything to fear

There’s gotta be a better way to deal with the pain
there’s gotta be a better way to deal with the hate
wish that I could find some way to make you go away
wish that I could have a drink and make you fade

Happenstance set the vibe that we are in,
no apology because my urge is genuine,
and the mystery of opposites attracting.
Here I am and I want to take a hit

I kinda miss those rambling; conversations
where we talk about nothing’
the way you always made me laugh at my frustrations
baby that was something

I wear this crown of shit upon my liar’s chair
full of broken thoughts I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time the feeling disappears

So the other day well I found me a lover
had a little hustle under the covers
it was delicious to me
can’t you see me there?

The thought never crossed my mind
that this would be my last goodbye
let me put pennies on your eyes
and kiss your lips one last goodbye

I can’t escape the pain I can’t control the rage
sometimes I think that I’m gonna go insane
I’m not against what’s right I’m not for what’s wrong
I’m just making my way and I’m gone

I wanna be seen
I wanna get clean
I wanna just fall out of in-between
I’m not right
I’m not right
I don’t wanna be your mistake

I tried to wear another face just to make you proud
just to make you put me in my place
but everything you wanted to take from me
is everything that I could never be

There’s not much left here to ignite, to ignite
I’d take a laser, phaser gun
and aim it at the sun
and pull the fuckin’ trigger once

You’re just too high to see the point
you think your name is pass the joint
I think I like you but you like this whole room
you sexy machine

You’re an exception to the rule
you’re a bonafide rarity
you’re all I ever wanted

You needed to find your space
You needed to still be friends
Needed me to call you if I ever couldn’t keep it all together
You’d comfort me

She said I need you to hold me
I’m a little far from the shore
and I’m afraid of sinking
you’re the only one who knows me
And who doesn’t ignore, that my soul is weeping

There’s a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair
palm trees a growin’ and warm breeze is blowin’
I picture myself right there
on some beach somewhere

Let’s nuke the bridge we torched
2,000 times before
this time we’ll blast it all to hell
I’ve had this burning in my guts now for so long

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
we’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight

Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
and then the nurse comes round
And everyone will lift their heads
but I’m thinking of what Sarah said

Your perfume
that makes my temptation hard to refuse.
So I guess we undressed to have sex…
Dirty sex.

I love this place. I never realize just how much I love this place until I step off the plane, though. It�s so easy for me to just tuck it away in my heart and keep it safe throughout the year. Then I get here and it�s almost like stepping back in time. Nothing much ever changes here and it seems like I still live here and have been visiting the States instead the reverse.

Arriving yesterday was emotional. You can still see the wrath of Wilma despite all the outstanding efforts of the people of this island. Officially though, we are open for business, the cruise ships are arriving daily and people are flooding the streets again. The dive shop is doing brisk business� I should know I spent the day running the front desk. So we don�t have as many beds as we did a month ago, people don�t much seem to mind.

I can see the beach from the shop�s window. The water isn�t as clear as I remember nor the beach as clean, but it is still gorgeous.

And even though the resort isn�t open for business and I had to stay elsewhere this year, Marco still made sure I had a hammock waiting for me when I arrived.

My favorite bar wasn�t supposed to reopen until Dec 1 but my favorite bar owner explained to his contractor that it had to be open by the time I got on the island. How could he possibly throw my welcome home party in a bar that wasn�t open yet? So open it was. Wed night we will open up for the cruise crowd, it looks like I�m not going to get out of pulling my shifts behind the bar this year.

Who said you can�t work on a vacation?

But it has some issues – namely I lost a good portion of my numbers. If you have my cell number saved and want me to have yours saved in turn – then you should call me and make sure I have it.

But I wouldn’t text me, cause that is the second issue. Texting is spotty and currently I can’t receive or send texts from/to Sarah. I’m thinking Cingular realized that they were losing money on that whole free messages thing and cut us off… and now won’t own up to it.

Oh and if you call and I don’t answer, don’t fret. Cause you see I have plans. Tonight consists of trying to get work lined up and explaining to CertainSomeone that really I can’t leave tonight. Tomorrow shows me driving 4 hours to spend the rest of the weekend with CertainSomeone. He bribed me with fondue and Harry Potter, we all know how bribable I can be… especially when there is fondue involved. That bribe does not contain great sex, however. The great sex is just a marvelous bonus to the fondue and Harry Potter. Really though, the weekend? Is all about the fondue, promise.

Then on Monday I leave for Houston… so I can go to Cozumel. For 8 nights. Yeah I return on the 30th. And I have no clue what my communication status will be there. I’m hoping at least for internet… cause I’ll die if I don’t have internet, but cell phones are looking spotty and if they do work I honestly probably won’t be answering it; what with my entire company knowing the number and not understanding the meaning of vacation.

Which if you are confused about the definition, it includes “Not having to deal with real life/work problems” and “In all probability intoxicated – Don’t trust judgment calls.” And since Maria has managed to get the industrial sized margarita machine working again, intoxication is a very real reality high possibility.

My first pair of Doc’s arrived this morning. and they are PURPLE!!!! Mom is so confused at them.

Back Story - Sarah needed to buy new Doc’s and in trying to help her locate certain ones I got to thinking that it’s been forever since I bought new Doc’s… and it would be nice to have a pair that can live in the trunk for when I have to wrench myself away from my machines and go tromping thru the mud of a construction site (happens more than you might think). I did some digging and a few hours and some amazing deals later, I have 5 new pairs of Doc’s heading my way. 2 pairs of Mary Janes (black and brown for work tromping), 2 pairs of boots (PURPLE!!!! and silver … cause who can pass up $29.00 silver 1460 Doc’s?), and 1 really cute pair of butterfly sandals (black). Ready for this? Grand Total spent - $198.88 including shipping.

I so rock the bargain shopping.

Please take notice to the recent revisions in the book of “Rules of Visiting Hell’s Condo”.

Rule #1 (03/25/05) � There will be no fucking on Sabine�s new white couch.

Addendum #1a (3/25/05) � There will be no fucking on Sabine�s new white couch until such time as Sabine has broken down and had sex on said couch.
Addendum #2a (11/14/05) � Fucking may now commence on Sabine�s not so new white couch from this date (11/14/05) thru the end of her stain warranty (3 years or 3/25/08)

Please reserve your spots at least 24 hours in advance to avoid double booking. Must provide own blanket. Thank you for your understanding during this time of… transition.

My cell phone is dead. Not as in “battery is dead” dead. Dead as in “Warranty Replacement will be here on Tuesday” dead. CertainSomeone feels reallyreally bad, but I maintain it was all Sarah�s fault. And Raymond, Paul, Jess, and the other hooligans too. Speaking of, who the fuck is Jason Esler?

Can be reached at home� unless I don�t answer especially since I am fairly certain I had the voicemail option turned off.

Really torn between hating and thanking Sarah right now.

Some years ago I made the decision to put myself on track towards a certain goal. I decided then and there that it would my priority and I would do whatever I could to see myself to that goal. Today I climbed my final hurdle and I can see the finish line.

And I couldn’t be more overjoyed.

Over these past years I’ve been called every name in the book, I’ve earned the hatred of quite a few, and I’ve had to make sacrifices to what I believed would be my greater good. I’ve moved across country twice leaving all my family and friends. I’ve had to be fearless and unabashed. I’ve done every task that no one else had the chutzpah to accomplish. I’ve busted my ass and slept in my office. I’ve made myself so indispensable that I’ve had to forfeit personal time/vacations/sick time all because it was believed that I was the only one to handle the job. And today, I’ve been able to see that every choice I made wasn’t in vain and I can honestly say I have no regrets.

Here I am, a full four years ahead of schedule.

To all the ones who tried to block my way, labeled me, questioned my worth, or told me I could never amount to anything without my families’ support - How’s the view from the bottom rung? Cause from up here it’s clear as far as the eye can see.

And tonight I’ll sleep better knowing that you were mistaken.

I can remember the day I opted to turn this company into my career. There was this CD I was in love with; for weeks I don’t think it left my car’s CD player. On that CD was one song that was so apt to the point I was at in my life. It became a bit of a mantra. For a few years I even had this book’s poster up in my cube just to serve as a personal reminder. Back then the folks at home were already starting to bitch and whine, but today?

Today I saw that monster dance.

(Read on …)

So there is this new CertainSomeone, and CertainSomeone mentioned during lunch one day that before he ever had a face to put to the name, he read this site regularly… and has since the day he saw an article on SCAtoday about me doing live Crown Tourney coverage, last October. This was a bit disconcerting especially after realizing that he saw a past reference I had made and correctly interpreted that it was him I spoke of. And if you thought that it had become more difficult to make me blush… you would be wrong.

All of that is just my way of leading up to saying that condoinhell is going away. Well not away, exactly. I started this site almost 2 years ago with absolutely no intention of it being my personal site. I can’t even really pinpoint where things started to go off course since my old archives met an untimely death long ago, but here we are so far away from the original goal. So at the end of the year I’ll not only be switching to new hosting but there will be some content changes. This will become the SCA website it was meant to be. The Gallery will still be here of course, but you can expect some other items as well. A links database and a place for class handouts…research and how-to articles and all that good stuff. I do too much research not to make it available to others. There are still some kinks that need to be massaged since the original plan doesn’t really apply anymore, seeing as how it was heavily on the Ansteorra side of things. Of course it’s going to be a work in progress but I have some great ideas as do some other people I have spoken to. I think we may even end up with a guest star or 3.

And the personal aspect becomes the dilemma, where to put it? I thought seriously about keeping it here as a sub-domain but putting it a bit removed from the spotlight. Really though that doesn’t do either idea justice so in the end I’ve decided to host my personal site at a new location wholly separate from condoinhell. Mainly cause its time for a little anonymity, and while I love the fact that I have readers from all over the Known World who come here and check up on me… The Google searches that come up in my reports show me how easy it has become for someone with minimal information about me can find this site. And I hate the fact that regardless of it all I still find it necessary to hold my tongue. Like for instance, I’m dying to tell everyone that there is this CertainSomeone that’s making my stomach all fluttery… but I can’t cause CertainSomeone is reading this and I would be horrified if he knew that before I was ready to tell him that. Almost as horrified as I am to know that at some point he’s probably read all about: how much the general public obsesses over my cleavage, my undying lust for Chad Kroger, the incredibly wrong compatibility mistakes I’ve made for myself, and lest we all forget - that time I broke my ankle wearing purple “Catch me Fuck me” boots .

Dear CertainSomeone,

Thanks,
Sabine

In the past months I have really had a hard time juggling this site. My life isn’t what it was when I lived in Texas with so many of my life aspects tied back to the SCA and I fight myself whenever I come here to post cause I really have always wanted this to be a SCA site. So that’s what it will be. Like I said it’s a progressive thing and there is still a great deal of work to do. I still haven’t even decided on my new domain. Although general consensus says it needs to have Hell in its title. Think I’m joking? I have 8 ideas sent from all different people and all of them contain Hell. Thanks guys, really. Whatever it is I want it to have some staying power and something I can futz with when I get tired of it. I much prefer the idea of redesigning a site than finding a new domain. I really don’t want to have to do this again… I got so lucky with condoinhell and I still think it’s a perfect name. Hopefully I can find that perfection again.

In other news, Sarah claims that we burned over 26 hours of talk time during the last month… and I’m going to call bullshit on it. We talk way more than that… 26 hours accounts for less than an hour a day, and I can’t think of days when we don’t talk. I’d bet money it was closer to the 30-34 hour range, but I can’t prove it because when I asked my assistant to confirm he said, “Let me get this straight, you want me to pull out your bill and search thru all 5692 minutes you used last month and figure out how many of those went to one number in particular? Would you rather me do this instead of the 12 interviews that you had scheduled this week or instead of completing and assembling the year-end reports?” I think he’s a bit getting frazzled with all the time I’ve been gone. Probably not the time to tell him I am taking an additional 3 days off at Thanksgiving…

You see, unfortunately, getting to Cozumel isn’t going to be as easy as it has been in the past. I’ve had to switch airlines because AA isn’t resuming flights till mid December. Continental only doing 3 flights a week out of Houston and to accommodate those flights I’ll now be gone a week and half. Darn. And my hotel is closed till further notice so I’m going to be staying at Jeff’s shop. The wedding is still going on as planned, though. They moved the location from the hotel out to a beach on the island’s eastside. It’s going to take some serious off-roading to get to the location but that’s what the Jeeps are for and I have been told it’s gorgeous out there… and Marco is going to roast a goat so you know that means a party.

I am still in California, but now at least know why I’m here. To everyone that was worrying that this wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience, lay your minds at ease. But I want to keep the news to myself for a little while longer. I need to figure out how I’m going to approach this before I go blathering, but there is some definite need for celebration… and I think this also means I’m going to have to buy more suits.

Well I guess I can’t really continue to pretend that I am sending out work emails and I should pay attention to my lunch companions… but if this keeps up I’m going to wind up learning something about golf whether I want to or not.

I am back from Coronation. It was a great weekend full of priceless moments. From Sarah and I slipping out the back door of the tent and eluding the menfolk that were guarding the front on Friday Night to the look on John’s face when he stuck his head in the same tent on Sunday morning.

The weekend was oddly interesting but there was quite a bit of drama to be had. Sarah said I couldn’t talk about it and really the only part currently stuck in my head is the last hour and a half of the drive home. It was a royal bitch. But thanks to Sarah’s recommendation there was MDX to be had, and what do you know? I didn’t explode.

All in all a great weekend even if unexpected in many ways, and I’m very pleased that I went. So happy that Fayne loves me enough to let me tag along.

But really when everything is said and done… a photo can say so much more than words.

cause I’d pay a buck to vote Alan Alda off my screen…

Yes there is a real update brewing, I promise. A lot has happened since I last left you and well honestly I’m dogass tired and I really don’t wanna type things out and I have a lot on my mind and my TiVo is almost full. So instead of dealing I’m going to choose the mindless entertainment route… and maybe another 10 hours of sleep.

Till then you get mindless memeness (courtesy of the Sara(h)s)–

Two Names You Go By
1. Sabine
2. and that other name that people sometimes call me when they remember that my name really isn’t Sabine… but then it sounds odd so they go back to calling me Sabine.

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. French Catholic
2. Irish Jew (yeah figure that one out)

Two Things That Scare You
1. Thunder
2. Being sick

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Coffee
2. Laptop

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Mutant Bug Bites from Hades (or Pineville, LA)
2. PJs

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment)
1. The Exies
2. The Prom Kings

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)
1. A Balance
2. Great Sex

Two Truths
1. Tomorrow is either going to be really good or go horriblyhorribly wrong.
2. Fayne adopted me when I wasn’t looking.

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. Facial hair
2. Eyes

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Reading
2. and apparently driving…

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. To drive 4 hours for a fondue dinner
2. A Starbucks that would deliver.

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Cozumel (15 days till I leave… and it looks like its going to be more work than play but the company makes it worth it. And being maid of honor for a great friend in a Hurricane ravaged town is a challenge I haven’t had to deal with in a while.)
2. Japan (I think this may be my Christmas present to myself)

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Get the Hell out of Florida.
2. Where did that link to that Ice Hotel go?

Two Ways that you are stereotypically a Chick/Guy
1. I’m a sucker for Health and Beauty Products.
2. I have more purses than weeks in a year… ok 2 years.

Two Things You Normally Wouldn’t Admit
1. It is possible for a boy to make my stomach flutter.
2. Even though I’m joking about it, I’m really stressing over tomorrow.

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. That I really need to take the Monday after Winter Wonders off…
2. $100 to whoever shows up to unload my car. $200 if you do the laundry as well. Bonus if you can get here before I take my nap.

Two Stores You Shop At
1. Super Target
2. Barnes and Nobles

Two people You would like to see take this quiz
1. Ryan Reynolds (my future husband)
2. Whoever else needs an excuse to waste time on a Monday

Someone is stealing hours out of my week as well as the only 2 pair of socks I own. 2 days before I leave for GA Coronation. That’s about 2 less days than I need to get ready to leave. At least on the laundry front I only need to do a load of towels to be ready to pack everything. But my home is defiantly stubborn and in no condition to be left for any period of time. Must.Hire.Houseboy.

Last night I was informed my presence is requested at my parent company’s headquarters next week. As of right now, I think I am the only person that’s been invited to this little soiree. That nerves me a bit. I would handle things much better if I knew there were others expected – good or bad. So Tuesday I have a 5:00 am 8 hour flight for 3 days of unknown agendas… that’s just how I love spending my week. Should someone mention that this is budget season and it really needs to get finalized before I leave for Mexico? Or that I was not only supposed to start interviewing for my new assistant but also start putting out feelers for new managers next week? Cause, really? I’m tired of making the house calls…

I’m envisioning a weekend chock full of fun. We’ve located the closest Starbuck’s and Sarah is working on the great birthday cake debacle of 2005. I’m planning to make a boy audition and a girl cry great big bitchy tears. I was a bit disappointed to see that there isn’t actually an afternoon nap in the official schedule… I think it’s about time someone worked that into Corpora especially at events when site wide wake up call is 6:00 am.

And putting alcohol in me may not be the best idea this weekend, I’m really fighting opening my mouth and saying things right now. I’ve practically bit thru my tongue yesterday and my fingers are just itching to type out an email. Someone out there needs to quit or get fired, and really the longer it takes in coming to actuality the harder its going to be on everyone else to bring up the slack. Not that I’m going to volunteer to step up, but then again any half ass attempt I could give would be better than the nothing we are getting right now. But that’s just my humble opinion.