I hesitate to show this to ya’ll, but I feel that this was the intention when I wrote it.  So I present it with some clarifications:  I wrote this on my BlackBerry sometime after 5 a.m. this morning.  When I was supposed to be asleep.  And since I have no recollection of typing it, I may actually have been asleep.  What I do know is that I was drugged out of mind with both OTC and prescription meds. Everything that could possibly have helped any of my ailments, from Advil to Zyrtec, was consumed.

So here you go - me… unaltered.

And now I’m going back to sleep.

Don’t know how you ladies deal…

But can somone please explain to my uterus that it lost it right to
cause me cramps when it up and quit working on me 3 years ago.
Seriously, there has to be some law about not being able to cause
cramps and hot flashes concurrently. How much torture can one girl
take?

So yes until one of you can top my insomniac crampy hot flashing
allergy congested self I’m keeping the opity me stick close by (close
but lesser known cousin of drama magnet and “why don’t you try and stop
me” brick).

At least my job is so completly in the shitter thay I don’t think
anyone will notice me stayoing in bed and hiding under the covers.
Well no one but my assist but it would really hard for him to not
notice seeing as how he is currently living in my spare bedroom
(longlong story) and also he currenty has nothing better to do as my
highly overpaid asst other bringing me tea and hot water bottles.

Remind that in my next reincarnation that while yes I am ging to strive
to be less important than I am now I still need to be important enough
to employ a highly overpaid gay male asst.  Life just isn’t the same
without one. Really everyone needs one. Although unless absolutely
nesscary I would refrain from having him live in your spare room.
There is a professional line there and we crossed it when I aaw him
making my breakfast in his boxers.

Dying now.
Send advil.
And soup.
And tissues.

Pity me.